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It was said that The Giant of Marathon had a reasonably high budget production, and with Hercules emeritus Steve Reeves (Goliath and the Barbarians) in the title role, alongside director Jacques Tourneur (War-Gods Of The Deep) behind the camera, I suspected that this film may be slightly better than the typical all-male grabass pose flicks that these sorts of films usually indulged in. On the “jock is half empty” side of things though, I was concerned that since it was about famed Olympian Philippines, I was going to be subjected to some old-time Olympic action.
Being someone who shies away from all Olympic-style events, since college football isn’t a medal sport, I was not particularly interested in the preliminary finals of Hammer Throw between Sparta and Athens. I was also troubled by the claim that these first Olympics were done ‘commando’ style. But it is like this, you can keep your concerns because events exist such as the Man-Grab, where two muscle-bound sweaty men mount each other like stallions, which are performed in fairly conservative diapers.
While he should have had some competition with the Spartans, the Philippines dominated the games due to his smooth tan body and hair, perfectly fit for an advertisement. Phillipides also had a friend Milziade, who gave him a sponsorship deal that came with a sacred guard. Now, Milziade is not in Phillipides’s league to give him a Wheaties box, but he definitely gets Phillipides’s attention. Speaking of Jenner-Bruce, if he was ever put in charge of Delta Forces, the American soldiers would not have needed to be held captive for over 444 days if Iran. Putting a soldier in combat does not mean giving him a delicate task like hiding. Now, that would be funny. Put a soldier on the guard and he uses himself as bait for enemy soldiers. Now that is the level of humor needed for Delta forces. The movie we all need to see! How Bruce Jenner single-handedly defeated the Iranian captors in just a week. Phillipides deserve nothing less than what headmasters I didn’t now swear Julian was capable of.
The old school delta forces. Phillipides adamantly saying no to the responsibilities that came with power in the newly built city head. Now he can rule with a vengeful fist. Phillipides chooses to farm instead while dealing with his head, the old-school logic does bring a chuckle. Croesus and Teocritos are forever getting messed up with their political power moves. But we all know who Theocritos is. The only thing standing in the way of Teocritos and Phillipides is his two-sided dame. Two-sided as in Karis. With as power-hungry as he is, corrupting Philippines and Kaedis is as easy as telling them to find some tea while he plans for the next mode of knife-throwing.
What others may not know is that Phillipides has a crush on Andromeda, a blonde beauty who by chance, is going to marry Teocrito, a marriage that was set up by her father Croesus. As Karis seeks to entice Phillipides and is met with a polite no, she ends up falling for him and later gives critical aid to the Athenians as the Persians invade. (Isn’t the ancient world just like an episode of Days of Our Lives!)
Karis even gets granted full honors for her funeral in military guise, but because this is such an action-packed affair, it is simply commanded and we don’t get to see it. Well, who has the time to watch some reformed whore being thrown onto a pyre when Phillipides is losing his horse to a raging river? (There is a most amusing scene of Phillipides furiously swimming in the river while his horse floats past him in the opposite direction.)
The issues arise when Teocrito decides to betray and aid the Persians in conquering Athens. Milziade goes to Phillipides’ farm trying to persuade the great hero to come out of retirement for another journey.
These scenes fortunately unfold just as expected, down to Milziade’s preamble about the swanky new bathhouses that have opened up in Athens before going businesslike and explaining how his Greek city-state required him and how he could easily hide out on his farm avoiding his responsibilities. Didn’t I see some Chuck Norris movie where someone came over to his farm beseeching him to enter the octagon one last time, to save something, or someone, from a particular somebody?
When the Persians come to attack, Phillipides pretty much does the work of 300 Spartans, from hightailing it to Sparta to beg them to join in on the action, running all the way back to Athens dragging all the Sacred Guard along, holding off thousands of Persians with nothing but some guys in diapers and expert javelin throwing, and a handful of guys in Athens single-handedly shredding several avenging Persian warships. Most remarkable after Michael Phelps’ performance in the Olympics!
The last third of the movie is the one that excites me the most, with the flaming spear throwing, the Sacred Guard leading the new generation of cowboys, er, I mean, immortal soldiers, as the new frogmen rush into the oceans grappling with the Persian fleet and putting the new pikes into the water while holding off the land invaders until the spartans finally stop being lazy and start to spring into action.
Mario Bava (Black Sunday) is an uncredited co-director who worked as the director of photography and special effects. His specific trademark style was not very apparent, but the resulting product is definitely better than what you would expect from something in this genre, especially the underwater sequence, which is very well executed.
If you mention Hercules, Steve Reeves may be the first name to come to mind, but that doesn’t mean he is particularly great. He stands there like a fish out of water, his voice supplanted with the kind of ridiculous lines that can only be found in these types of films and in pornography, but to be fair he doesn’t look like a sleazy old man or some overgrown muscle bound weirdo like many of these sword and sandals epics do.
There are no other outstanding performances in this and there are no creatures at hand, but Phillipides does create a small avalanche by hurling enormous stones at a dazed Persian battalion. (They seem rather undecided whether they should simply wait and be overwhelmed by the falling stones or try to avoid them, but they certainly did not prepare for being caught in an artificial avalanche).
It has plenty of action, some impressive sets, and even a boat with spikes that can open and close like a mouth. Check out The Giant of Marathon where you will understand why I so affectionately call Steve Reeves, the Steve Reeves of off-brand Hercules movies!
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