The Beastmaster (1982)

The-Beastmaster
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FAST FACT: Coscarelli recently revealed plans to reboot “The Beastmaster” for modern audiences after snagging back the rights to the property.
It’s fascinating that there is a sequence in the movie in which Dar battles with enormous bats that can pick a person up within its wings and swallow a whole. Editorially, there is also “eagle vision” where his winged friend gives him a drone-like view of the bad guys from above. Plus there is also a large skull that resembles a paper mache bolder and my personal favorite, henchmen with bright green eyes.

He was rather painful to watch and yet, The Beastmaster placing a dog next to its owners slain body seemed somewhat captivating. Singer’s overacting will not grab a portion of my feelings, but because The Beastmaster is not so great in emotional storytelling, we can also sense a bit of relief in Amos. Torn is not at all brilliant, but John Amos is.
The dialogues between characters sound a little out of this world. (“I have been told you are planning a child’s sacrifice.”) Scenes that should be ghastly are hilarious for other parts and frighteningly painful for the breakdown in comedy.

Tanya Roberts is introduced surfacing nude from a pond with a waterfall behind her. It is a beautiful shot, however, Coscarelli constantly cuts back to Singer, who is staring at her from behind some shrubs like Belushi in Animal House.

To say the least, Dar (not unlike Conan) is a brutish pig. I began to pity Roberts and felt protective of her for being in such an absurdly exploitative part…then I remembered that two years later, she starred in Sheena, Queen of the Jungle, which is basically this film, but with Roberts playing the part of Singer.
He may have earned the cruel sobriquet of The Cheesemaster, but I am certain this Coscarelli film is still far superior to “Sheena, Queen of the Jungle.” Of all people, it seems Roberts is destined to play in a handful of PG movies that should have shockingly rated R, such as “Tourist Trap,” Sheena, and this film.

If Coscarelli’s “Phantasm” fits in the same genre as do-it-yourself, look-what-I-did, out-of-nowhere horror classics as “Night of the Living Dead,” “Carnival of Souls,” and “Evil Dead,” then “The Beastmaster” and his follow-up should have the same sort of trajectory. While “The Beastmaster” did respectable business in theaters, it quickly became a staple on basic and premium cable channels.

The much-quoted Dennis Miller stand up routing quote certainly applies here: “HBO, means, Hey, Beastmaster’s on!”

Actually, it’s even stranger than that. We can surmise that as the years go by, more people will have likely seen it on TBS, TNT, or HBO than in a movie theater.

The Beastmaster” is kind of a junk film that was made with affection, a scrappy epic with impressive visuals that mostly succeed in elevating a ridiculous plot. Clearly, the film garnered a cult followinig because we not only got the much-belated, made-by-others sequel “Beastmaster 2: Through the Portal of Time” (which also starred Singer) and a TV made sequel “Beastmaster III: The Eye of Braxus” (again, starring Singer) but a TV series as well.

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