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Like its namesake, the starting point of Stagecoach can be easily identified. Buck (John Schneider) works for the Overland Stagecoach Company and has recently come to Tonto, Arizona. He has the choice to either get his passengers on the stagecoach to Lordsburg New Mexico where they would be safe or not. This seems like an easy task, especially with a shotgun guard sitting next to him (Have you ever questioned the origin of the phrase, “shotgun”?), but wait, there is a problem, that bothersome Geronimo and his Apache warriors are apparently on the warpath for some reason. Oh yes, it has something to do with their land being taken from them. Buck does tend to complain about his 8 dollars a month not being enough to pay him like a true prince. Regardless, he is dedicated to finishing the task, even if it involves having his shotgun guard shake in fear at the mention of Indians.
Help arrives with the assistance of Curly Wilcox (Johnny Cash), who is not the most agreeable fellow and happens to be the Marshal of Tonto. Curly sets some terms of his own: he will make sure the stagecoach makes it to Lordsburg safely as long as it’s carrying the Plummer brothers, who are rather wanted for reasons most people would understand. Among a rather mismatched set of passengers are a gunfighter dentist named Doc Holliday (Willie Nelson) and a compulsive gambler ex-con called Hatfield (Waylon Jennings), who also happens to be a shady booze dealer. There is also a banker in a desperate rush to leave the town with a mysterious black bag and a very much pregnant Lucy Mallory (Mary Crosby). Dallas (Elizabeth Ashley) the overworked and underappreciated prostitute, incessantly shares unsolicited advice regarding the issues that plague every person in existence. Suddenly during the ride, Curly spots a new fugitive he has to take into custody The Ringo Kid (Kris Kristofferson) is now on the wanted list and he is needed in town.
The major downside to Stagecoach is most certainly the previously mentioned TV movie style. The setpieces are virtually nonexistent, the direction is bland, the plot is basic, and there are far too many fade-outs for ad breaks. Even with some of the gunfighting action, the fact that this was televised in 1986 basically assures that there wasn’t any blood or other aggressive substance.
There is an abundance of poor acting, as in the case of Elizabeth Ashley, who ends every worldly-wise line of dialogue with a grim stare at something in the sky. But apart from that, the performances are not exactly Oscar-worthy. This film was made for television and unlike the rest of us, it never pretends to be something it’s not. The cheap country’s soundtrack and the narrow aspect ratio make that perfectly clear.
But who cares, right? Irrespective of the problems this is Stagecoach, a film including Johnny Cash, Waylon Jennings, Kris Kristofferson, Willie Nelson, June Carter Cash, John Schneider, and guess what? Jessi Colter too! Some of them roam around in skirts and some sport guns, but all of them are walking in the same realm. Truly it isn’t needed, While they converse, there is no need and should be any praise towards direction or cinematography. It is likely that this film is flawed and it would probably attract wrath, but the sheer amount of entertaining value the legendary cast brings makes Stagecoach unbelievably amazing.
While it probably won’t ever live up to the reputation of its namesake, Stagecoach from 1986 is a pleasant enough film that does bring together many country legends who are no longer with us.
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